Saturday 26 January 2013

Hey guys and gals....

>Be 14
>Bring shrek 1 & 2 to class
>Tell teacher we must watch shrek
>Teacher makes class vote for which movie to watch
>shrek 2 has majority vote
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>Then, Francis pulls out Despicable Me and hands it to teacher
>Everyone in class votes for it and laughs at me
>Teacher throws my shreks back at me and puts Despicable Me in DVD player.
>As the disc loads, I hear loud footsteps from outside. The rumbling shakes the desks and chairs.
>The smell of onions filled the room.
>Suddenly, naked Shrek bursts through the wall and looks at DVD menu of Despicable Me in anger.
> "Ogre m'aye dead bodeh"
>Shrek throws two onionades at the tv and kills the teacher and a deaf girl.
>"Dohble Keel"
>Shrek punches through a kid's chest, pulls out his heart and replaces it with an onionade
>kid explodes.
>"Treeple Kehl"
>Shrek grabs Francis as he tries to escape and bends him over.
>He pulls out Francis' intestines through his butthole and ties an onion to it.
>Shrek then tosses the onion out the window and Francis is dragged out with it.
>Francis falls 8 stories to his death.
>"OGREKEEEEL!"
>Shrek turns around to rest of the class.
>He quietly whispers, "Thees is the pahrt whehre you run away."
>Entire class jumps out of windows to their death.
>"SHREKSTERMINATION"
>Shrek turns to me.
>He looks me in the eye and smiles.
>"Bet yeh weren't shrekspecting thAt."
>"I-Is it....ogre?" I ask.
>"It's ogre when Aye say it's ogre"
>I fall to my knees at his majesty.
>I was ready to please Shrek.
>He pulled out his massive ogresized eshrekt cock and lodged it in my throat.
>My eyes filled with tears.
>mfw they were happy tears.
>Shrek let out a loud ogre roar as he filled my esophagus with sour cum and onion sauce.
>He pulled his cock out of my mouth but as I wiped away my tears, I noticed he was already gone.
>Shrek is love, shrek is life.

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